–Amy Engle


National Poetry Writing Month 2018 Poem #4


Time to be beautiful!

Every year–that’s my goal.

Let me make some changes

To make me more attractive.

First, gotta spend half of my

Next hard-earned paycheck

On new, more stylish clothes.

Ca-ching. Ca-ching. Ca-ching.

But it’ll be worth it.

At least, I’m pretty sure it will.

Oh, but the clothes don’t matter

If I look awful in them.

Next step is running.

And let’s throw in some

Sit-ups since running is hard

And I can’t do it all the time.

Yes! I feel strong–invincible!

Nope! I’m done now!

Everything–and I really mean

“EVERYTHING”–all of it hurts!

Why do people do this?

Oh, yeah! To be thin!

I don’t think it’s worth it…

But let’s move on for now.

Being fit is about more

Than just strong muscles.

Hit the produce market

And fill your cart with veggies.

Prep. And prep. And even more prep.

Wash. Cut. Eat. Repeat.

Cut out the friend food.

Attempt to limit your carbs.

Replace them with natural foods/

Choke them down, if necessary.

Think about the smaller you

That you’ll soon become.

I’ll save removing sugar from my

Diet for a time when I have a

Better handle on my eating practices.

Spend the rest of your access money

On beauty treatments.

Do your hair, nails, and make up.

Invest money into your prettier self.

Keep a mirror to check it all.

This is exhausting!

The anxiety makes me break-out.

Wash, scrub, and treat the face.

Balance should be within my grasp.

No time to exercise today since

I spent three hours food-prepping.

So I work out harder the next day,

Which leaves me too tired

To carefully plan my meals.

And now all  I want is

Hot, greasy bacon cheese burgers

With salty, crispy French fries.

I can cheat just a little, right?

I’ve been so good with everything.

Whoops! I’ve “cheated” all week.

This all just needs to be settled

Into a stable, habitual routine.

Then I’ll be use to it and

It won’t be as hard to accomplish

All these massive, irritating goals.

But I’m unraveling yet again!

I believe I can do better in the future.

I just need to refocus and re-evaluate

The motives of my resolutions.

I’ve worked too hard to give up now.

Transformation is within my grasp.

Quitting is not longer a viable option.